Sacred Tantric Relationships – Shadow Alchemy

Autumn Skye Beloveds copyOur relationship with our sexual partner has the potential to be a sacred crucible, an ecstatic alchemical container for the metamorphosis of the soul.

Sacred tantric relationship requires having a deep commitment to our own soul growth, as the sacred mirror of the relationship will eventually bring to light our deepest wounds of love.

Often it is harder for us to see our own shadows and that is where the sacred mirror of a tantric relationship will reflect back to you all that you have denied.

Fears of abandonment, betrayal, rejection, terror, unworthiness and self doubt arise to be played out in the magnetic mirror of our relationships and if we have enough self love and the courage to feel, can be transformed in the sacred container of our sexual relationships.

In the old paradigm of sexual romantic relationships, one would either leave when the shadow of their partner would arise, or stay, shut down and go emotionally numb. This avoidance of feeling has a detrimental affect and actually blocks and stagnates our life energy, dimming down our innate effervescent joy for life.

We call the shadow the shadow because it is those darker parts of our souls that have not seen or felt the light of love. The shadow remains the shadow because neither, human or divine love has entered this place. The shadow is those parts of ourselves that have been unloved, un -embraced, the parts of ourselves we deny and hide.

Loving the Shadow

For us to truly transform, we need to have a strong foundation of self-love, to breakthrough the wounds of the past. So even if our partner, friend or lover is not giving us the love or approval or attention or affection we would like, we love ourselves. Even when our deepest shadow and wounds are revealed we accept ourselves as we are now.

While our shadow is denied it is a great leak of power, when we bring our suppressed anger to consciousness, welcome it and bring it through some form of conscious expression,( dancing, singing, music, art, sound) it brings so much more aliveness into the body. Every time we choose to feel, rather than blame or project onto our partners, it will bring us closer to our Divinity and create more intimacy with those we love.

In a sacred – tantric relationship we welcome these emotions in our selves and in our partner and we learn to hold the space for ourselves, as sovereign beings aligned in our own inner masculine and feminine and when we are not triggered we hold space for one another, to feel and to heal our wounds of love.

According to Sufi mystic Rumi, “Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
When we approach our human relationships in this way, we welcome our pain, we commit to feeling and not avoiding.

The Alchemy of Ecstasy

When we feel, we heal. What was agony becomes ecstasy; our pain becomes love and our numbness turns to vital life force energy. It never ceases to amaze me how much ecstasy, love and joy flows into us once we have surrendered our pain up to Divine.

It is such a paradox when we actually surrender into the very core of the pain, we release ourselves from it and the true love within us is set free.

In truth we are not our pain, we are love, yet we are love that keeps forgetting itself. The Divine spark of Gods love always burns bright at the core of each and everyone of us. It is just our minds that forget and distract us from our true essence, holding onto the false love identities.

I find a powerful key to add to the mix of liberation is to pray. Beloved Mother Father God, Goddess all that is. I surrender this fear of “rejection”.. or I offer up this old story of unworthiness. Please help me feel and release this so that I may remember the love that I am. ( or something, relevant ) It is in those moments when we are on our knees, with our palms open that shift happens.

Open to Shakti, the feminine pulse within you, your kundalini, your sexual fire, she will burn all that is not of love, while the Divine Masculine holds you without judgment. In ecstasy, may your fear return to love. Opening to new possibilities and higher truth.


In love and service to the new paradigm of sacred relationships,

Leyolah Antara

Copyright © 2015